1
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:07,960
FOOTBALL COMMENTARY ON TV
Come on! We'll pump this lot.

2
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:10,000
I mean, Malta, for God's sake.
What have they ever done?

3
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,960
A falcon!

4
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,960
Sure you don't want one?
No, no, you're fine.

5
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:15,960
I'm still on this diet
that Beth put me on.

6
00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,640
Diet? Oh, dear.

7
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,960
I'm lucky. I can eat what I want.

8
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:21,960
My father was the same.

9
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,960
He ate chips every day of his life,
and he was like that.

10
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,160
Aye, some folk are lucky. Mm.

11
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Heart attack, he had, wasn't it?
Three of them, aye. Aye.

12
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I just couldn't bear the thought

13
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,960
of you sitting on your own
all night, Beth.

14
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Och, you didn't need to worry.
I quite enjoy a night...

15
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,960
Besides, I wanted a wee catch-up,
hear all your news.

16
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:44,960
Well, not much to tell,
really, Cathy. Um...

17
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:46,960
Eric's been at the doctor again.

18
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,800
Oh, no! Uh-huh.

19
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What a shame.

20
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Look! I had my toes done
in that new semipermanent stuff.

21
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It is so good.

22
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I kicked the tumble dryer shut
earlier, didn't chip.

23
00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,960
So you've been at the dentist?
The doctor's.

24
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,960
Have you? No, Eric has.

25
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:03,960
Oh, God.

26
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Tell you what... Open that bottle,
I want to hear all about it.

27
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,960
Oh, Beth! Uh-huh.

28
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Bring crisps.

29
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Storage Wars?

30
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Yeah...

31
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Oh, Police Interceptors.
I watched that last week.

32
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They chased a man over a fence

33
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and his tracksuit bottoms
came down at the back,

34
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so they had to blur it out
so you didn't see his crack.

35
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Oh, Game Of Thrones.
Jaz, we live in Glasgow.

36
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If I want to watch dwarves
stabbing each other,

37
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I can just take a bus
into the city centre.

38
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All right!

39
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Border Force! What's that?

40
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:37,960
People trying to get into Australia
smuggling snake meat
up their jumpers,

41
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:40,960
and Chinese women bursting
into tears when they get caught
with home-cooked food

42
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,960
and they've got to put it
in the bin.

43
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I might just go to bed.

44
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Are you coming, or are you
staying up? Um, I'll come.

45
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Ian... What?

46
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,800
Do you want to move in with me?

47
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OK.

48
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I mean, I knew he was overweight.

49
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:06,160
Oh, yeah. Remember when we had
the barbecue out the back?

50
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,960
When he stepped onto that decking,

51
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,960
it was like that bit
out of Jurassic Park.

52
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It's a worry.

53
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:15,960
This is what happens
to a lot of Scottish men, Beth.

54
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Nice and chunky when they're young.

55
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:21,000
And then they just
turn into big bloaters.

56
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,960
They're saying
if he doesn't do something about it,

57
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,960
he could be at risk
of a heart attack.

58
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What, What, What, What.

59
00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:30,960
Anything happens to Eric,
I'll be here for you.

60
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,320
I'll help you get your hair cut,

61
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set you up a profile
on PlentyOfFish.

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68
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I'll tell you who's got it right
when it comes to pubs, Eric.

69
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:56,960
The Spaniards. Aye?

70
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:58,160
Aye. Tapas.

71
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Cos every time you get a drink,
you get a wee bite to eat with it.

72
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A wee bit of sausage, chorizo.

73
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A wee bit of squid, calamari.

74
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Wee croquette. ..Croquette.

75
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:10,640
Oh, Christ, give it a rest with
all that chat about grub. I'm sorry.

76
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:12,960
Let's just concentrate on the match.
That'll cheer you up, eh?

77
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,960
Come on, let's get behind
these lads. Scot...

78
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ALL GROAN

79
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Shit. That didnae go in, did it?

80
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It's a disgrace.

81
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,960
It's a... It's an absolute disgrace.

82
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They were humped oot there.
Humped. By Malta.

83
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I'll tell you what the problem is,
Eric.

84
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Our lot just arenae fit. I know.

85
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They're oot there trying to compete
with these European teams

86
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,960
who are in peak condition,

87
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and they're just no' up to it.

88
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They're no' athletes, Eric. No.

89
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,960
You want some chips in your pocket
to take in with you?

90
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:54,320
No, no, no, no. You're good.

91
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:57,480
That's right, it's your diet.
Good man.

92
00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:58,960
I'll tell you, that lot out there

93
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could do with taking a leaf
out of your book.

94
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Aye. Anyway, I'm away to my bed,
so I'll see you.

95
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Night. Night.

96
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:07,960
Good night, squire.

97
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Aw, shite.

98
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Mm.

99
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HE SNORES

100
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WATER SPLASHES

101
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What the...?!

102
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Eric!

103
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Eric!

104
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:06,960
What is it?

105
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The freezer door's been left
lying open. How the hell...?

106
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,960
Well, it wasn't me! Uh-huh(!)

107
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:15,000
So it wasn't you that cooked
the oven chips in the big Pyrex dish

108
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that's lying in the sink, then?

109
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,320
I'll get a tea towel.

110
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And I'll bet you've guzzled
all my cold meat.

111
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Beth...

112
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Eric, let me into that fridge.
Beth, I was starving.

113
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Eric!
We got beat by Malta, Beth. Oh...

114
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Gone. And my lovely big lump
of Irish Cheddar.

115
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Away. I was going to use that
for a macaroni.

116
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Well, there's a tin of macaroni
in the...

117
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Actually, I... Look at the state
of this. I mean, just look at it.

118
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And you're supposed to be on a diet.
And I am.

119
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Oh, and look at
this lovely big leg of lamb.

120
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The blood's dripped right the way
through onto Ian's waffles.

121
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We can always refreeze it.
Don't be ridiculous.

122
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Look, what does it say there?

123
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Er... "Use by December 2008".

124
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Not there. There!
"Once defrosted, do not refreeze".

125
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Well,
you'll just have to bin it, then.

126
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Bin it?! I will not be binning it.

127
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There's hundreds of pounds worth
of food in here.

128
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I mean, what about my prawns?

129
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Forget about the prawns. You don't
have to worry about the prawns.

130
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Why not?

131
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Cos I had them with the macaroni.
Huh!

132
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,960
And you need to be careful
with your health.

133
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Eric, I'm telling you, if you have
a heart attack, I will kill you. Ow!

134
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:29,960
What are we going to do?

135
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,960
Well, there's only one thing
we bloody well can do.

136
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Cook it!

137
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All right, Mum, see you later.

138
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Bye.

139
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What do you think?

140
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It's the gym we're going to,
no' a bloody Pride march.

141
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,960
I'm kidding you on. You look fine.

142
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,960
Listen, see instead
of going to the gym,

143
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,960
would it be OK
if we went over to my mum's?

144
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:52,800
Er, yeah, can do. What's happening?
She's making lunch.

145
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Let's do it.
Should I bring anything?

146
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,960
Aye, some earplugs and a bottle
of Gaviscon would be great.

147
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DOORBELL RINGS

148
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,960
Oh, hello, Beth.
Hi, Christine. How you doing?

149
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I'm absolutely shattered. Oh.

150
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,960
Been up all night with this bladder
of mine. Oh, dear.

151
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,960
Between that
and the trapped nerve in my neck,

152
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,960
and our Sophie's guinea pig's
about to give birth,

153
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it's like a field hospital in here.

154
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,480
Do you want to come in
for a cup of tea? I won't just now.

155
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:23,960
Actually, I just popped round
to invite you to ours.

156
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,960
Oh, no, I don't think so, Beth.

157
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:29,160
I'm just not at my best just now.
Och, that's a shame.

158
00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:31,960
You know me, Beth, I'm a fighter.

159
00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,960
But this business with the bladder's
just about broken me.

160
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:36,960
Mum, Dusty's nearly ready to go.

161
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:40,960
All right, just put a towel down,
will you? I'll be in in a minute.

162
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,960
Sorry, I need to go, Beth.

163
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,960
Oh, what was the occasion, anyway?
Oh, nothing really.

164
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,160
It's just
we've had a bit of a disaster.

165
00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,960
A disaster?

166
00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,960
Oh! All right?

167
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:54,960
Oh, thanks, Eric.

168
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:58,960
You know, my heart just about broke
when Beth told me.

169
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,960
I know what she's going through.

170
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:02,960
I had a soda siphon rupture on me

171
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,160
up at the caravan last year,
didn't I, Sophie?

172
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:06,960
Yeah, you did.

173
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:10,800
DOOR OPENS
Don't panic. I am here!

174
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,960
Oh, give us a hug, missus.

175
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:17,960
How are you holding up?
Och, I'm fine.

176
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,960
See, if that was me,
I'd be devastated.

177
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,960
Obviously, your stuff's
not as dear. Even still...

178
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,960
I'll give you
a wee squeeze, too, eh?

179
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:28,960
There we are. All better.
You all right, eh?

180
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,960
Well, nobody died, eh? Aye, true.

181
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,800
But still, it's a fair old
kick in the nuts, though.

182
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,320
What on earth happened?

183
00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:37,960
Eric left the freezer door open
by mistake.

184
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:39,800
BOTH: Oh, no!

185
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,800
We thought maybe it just broke down
because it was so old.

186
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:47,320
And you can't refreeze any of it?
I don't think so, Colin, no.

187
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:48,960
Oh, no, no, no. You're quite right.

188
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,960
I did that once
with chicken breasts.

189
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:52,960
I nearly shat myself in the car.

190
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,000
It can happen to anybody.

191
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,960
Just it always seems to happen
to Eric.

192
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,960
Remember
when you got that lovely beanbag

193
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,960
and he had
that terrible upset stomach?

194
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:04,960
Cathy, look, please,
don't say anything about it to him.

195
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,960
We're just trying to put it
behind us and move on.

196
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:08,960
Course you are, course you are.

197
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,960
It's the last thing
you're needing, though, isn't it?

198
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,960
I was just saying to Col,
poor Beth,

199
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:15,960
she has got enough on her plate.

200
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:17,320
Not any more, she hasn't!

201
00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:18,960
BOTH LAUGH

202
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,960
Anyway, look on the bright side.
Chance for a wee get-together.

203
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,960
Exactly, Beth.

204
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,000
What are friends for
if they can't get together

205
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,960
and eat a lot of cheap frozen food?

206
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,960
Anyway, best let you get on.

207
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,960
Anything I can do to help,
you just let me know.

208
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:35,960
Well, actually, Cathy,

209
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,960
you could give us a hand
getting all this in the oven.

210
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:39,960
What, now?

211
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,960
Course... Course I can.

212
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,640
Sophie,
can I get you a drink of something?

213
00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,960
Oh, just an orange juice'll
be great, thanks, Mr Baird.

214
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:52,960
Oh, nothing fizzy for her, Eric.
No, no. Her teeth cannae stand it.

215
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,640
Awfully soft enamel. Mum!

216
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,480
The dentist said her baby teeth
were like putty.

217
00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:58,960
Are you all right, Christine?

218
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:02,960
Oh, Colin, no' so great, actually.

219
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,960
Ah, well. At least...
I'm back in my collar.

220
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,160
Well, I noticed that.
And the bladder's away again.

221
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:11,960
Oh, dear God. Just the old
drips and drops, you know.

222
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,960
And as if that's no' bad enough,

223
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,960
I've started to get
this ringing in my ears.

224
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,960
Ringing in your ears? Aye.

225
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,960
I'll tell you what you want to do.
What's that?

226
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:22,960
Gie your doctor a bell!

227
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,960
Cheeky wee bastard.

228
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:38,160
Oh, hiya, Colin. All right?
Aye. There you are, Sophie.

229
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:41,000
Here, Eric, that was a bit of
a boo-boo with the old freezer, eh?

230
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,960
Oh, don't you start.

231
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:44,960
I've been getting pelters off Beth
all morning.

232
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,960
Just as well
it didnae happen to ours.

233
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,960
We've got one of those ones
with the big double doors.

234
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,960
Do you know how many cubic litres,
Eric? Er, no.

235
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:53,960
1,240.

236
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:56,960
That's a few ice poles, that, eh?
I'll tell you how big it is, Eric.

237
00:10:56,960 --> 00:11:00,000
I have got a whole salmon in it.
A whole salmon.

238
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,800
I caught it myself
when we were up at the time-share.

239
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,960
You want to see the size
of this thing. It's...

240
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,960
Well, it's enormous.

241
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,960
You ever actually held
a whole salmon, Eric? Um...

242
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,800
Sophie, you ever held
a whole salmon?

243
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:14,960
No. Christine?

244
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:15,960
No, just fillets.

245
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,960
Well, let me tell you something.

246
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,960
I have.

247
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,480
Right, so how long
on the goujons, Cath?

248
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,480
20 minutes at 220.

249
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:27,160
Right, OK, so they'll go in
with the apple tart.

250
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:30,960
Oh, that was 200, though, Beth.
OK, right, so what else is 200?

251
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,960
The sausage rolls
and the southern fries.

252
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,960
Right, OK, so the southern fries,
the sausage rolls

253
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,960
and the apple tart -
200 for 20 minutes.

254
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,960
No, the southern fries are 15 to 18.

255
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:44,320
Right, OK, so we'll put them in
for five minutes first.

256
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,480
Which ones? Southern fries.

257
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,960
Got you, Beth, got you.
It's all under control.

258
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,480
BEEPING
What's that noise?

259
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:52,960
It's the oven, Cathy.

260
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:58,960
I mean, see that drive
up to the time-share,

261
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:02,960
the scenery is absolutely beautiful.

262
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:06,000
I mean, the hills, the lochs, the...
the wind farms.

263
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,960
It's just beautiful.

264
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,960
I mean, see the last time we went
up, the weather was smashing.

265
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:13,160
We took Cathy's car,
got the roof down.

266
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,160
It was gorgeous.

267
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,800
Until we hit the deer.

268
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,960
Oh, no.
No, no, no, it was all right.

269
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:21,960
I mean, Cathy had wipes in her bag.

270
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,960
Cream leather interior, though.

271
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,960
I mean, some of the stitching's
still a bit pink.

272
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,960
Right,
sausage rolls at the top, Cathy.

273
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,960
Have you not got another oven glove?

274
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,640
Shift that pie to the bottom

275
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:40,960
and then we'll be able to get
some waffles in next to the cod.

276
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:45,960
Come on!

277
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:47,960
I've got the wine. Good.

278
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:51,000
Got it. Wine in the bag. Can you
imagine if I dropped it? Smash!

279
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,960
Broken glass, people picking it up,
trying to be helpful,

280
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,960
but then ending up
cutting themselves

281
00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:58,480
and your mum
having to look for plasters!

282
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,160
Sorry. I think I'm nervous.

283
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:01,960
Why?

284
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,000
Just about telling everyone
that we're moving in together.

285
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,960
See, what I was thinking...

286
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,960
I'm not sure today's the best day
to tell them about that.

287
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:10,960
Oh. OK.

288
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,320
Look, I'm really, really pleased
about it, honest,

289
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:16,320
but let's just hang fire and wait
till we see my mum on her own.

290
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,960
All right. Fair enough.

291
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:21,960
That's fine.

292
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,960
Does your mum even drink prosecco?

293
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,960
Give it a couple of hours
and she'll drink anything.

294
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,800
Hello!
Oh, right, that's Ian and Jaz.

295
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,960
Let me give you that.
You hold the fort for two minutes.

296
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,960
Come in, come in. All right, Ma?

297
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,960
Oh! What's that smell?
Something in the oven?

298
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:42,960
Shut your face. Hello there, Jaz.
Hello, Mrs Baird.

299
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,000
How you doing? Good, thank you.

300
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:48,160
Oh, great. Right, so are you
back at work yet? Not yet, no.

301
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,960
Listen, I'm so sorry
to hear about your freezer.

302
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:51,960
Och, don't worry about it.

303
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,960
I said to Ian, I can't imagine
anything worse, honestly.

304
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:57,960
Except maybe something happening
to your eyes,

305
00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,960
or having a fall and
your front teeth getting smashed.

306
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,480
There you go. That's for you.

307
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,960
Oh, thanks! What's this?
It's just a wee bottle of wine.

308
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,960
We got it at the petrol station.

309
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,000
Um, right, well, let's go through.

310
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,960
Hi, guys. Hiya.

311
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:15,960
Hello, Mr Baird. Hiya.

312
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,960
Hi, Colin. All right, Dad?

313
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:20,960
All right, son, yeah.
How's it going?

314
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,800
Aye, good. All good. How's you?

315
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,960
Oh, no' too bad, aye, aye.
You all right?

316
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,960
Aye, aye.

317
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:27,960
Good. Good.

318
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,960
Um, this is Christine.
She lives next door.

319
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:34,960
Hello.

320
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,960
Oh, wait till I get turned here.

321
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:37,960
Oh.

322
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,960
This is Jaz, Christine.

323
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,960
Oh, hello, Jaz.
So you're Ian's gay lover.

324
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:45,960
Mum!

325
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:46,960
Sorry.

326
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,960
Have you met Sophie before,
Christine's daughter?

327
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:54,960
Hi, I'm Jaz. I'm Ian's...
I'm Jaz. Hiya.

328
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,960
Remember I told you Jaz works
for the electricity, Christine?

329
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,000
Oh, does he? Very good.
But I'm off sick at the minute.

330
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,960
Really? Yeah. How come?

331
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,960
Stress.
SHE GASPS

332
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:07,960
Stress! Oh, that's a terrible thing.

333
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:10,800
Here, you come
and sit yoursel' next to me.

334
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,960
You all right, then, young man?
Keeping out of trouble?

335
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,640
Trying my best.
Not like your old man, eh?

336
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,960
Oh, God, yeah, the freezer, eh?
What happened there?

337
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:18,960
It was an accident.

338
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,640
What it was, was we were out
watching the football...

339
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:23,160
Oh, yeah, the football.
What was the score?

340
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:24,960
It was 4-0. Cool.

341
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:26,800
To Malta.

342
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:27,960
Ah.

343
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,960
I've had to have this one back up
at the doctor's an' all, Jaz.

344
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:34,480
Have you? What's the matter?
Oh, her scalp's away again.

345
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,960
Her pillow's like the top
of a Victoria sponge.

346
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,960
They're saying
that's stress, an' all.

347
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,960
Well, it could be. Is it, shite.

348
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:45,960
She spends all day, every day,
sat in the house with me.

349
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:48,640
I mean,
what's she got to be stressed about?

350
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,960
Maybe the seal on the door's away.
I mean, you've had it for a while.

351
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,960
We saw good deals on freezers
the other day -

352
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:55,960
on Amazon, I think it was.

353
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,000
Jaz... Jaz,
where was it we saw the freezers

354
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,160
that you said to me
were a good price?

355
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,160
Oh, Amazon. Chest freezer. 199.

356
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:03,960
199?

357
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:04,960
Excellent price, Beth.

358
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:06,960
We're no' getting a new freezer.

359
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,960
There's nothing wrong
with the one we've got.

360
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,960
199, Sophie.

361
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:14,960
Here, we need to take a run up
to this Amazon place, you and me.

362
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:18,640
Jaz, what sort of capacity
are we talking about here?

363
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:20,800
I'm sorry, but I don't know.

364
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:24,960
Mind you, every time
I think about chest freezers,

365
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,960
I just think about serial killers
chopping people up

366
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:30,320
and stuffing them into wee bags.

367
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:33,960
I'll just nip through to the kitchen
and see how we're getting on.

368
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,960
Any dips?

369
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:41,960
How are we getting on?

370
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,480
Oh, you're back.
Anything else I can do for you?

371
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:46,960
No, you're all right.

372
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,480
Okey-dokey.

373
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,960
Just let me know when it's time
for the broom to go up my arse.

374
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:51,960
What's in there?

375
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,960
Oriental rice and half a pork chop.

376
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,960
BEEPING
Mm...

377
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,960
ignore the beeping.
I'm timing it on my phone.

378
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,960
That's maybe it ready now, actually.

379
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,960
SMOKE ALARM BEEPS

380
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,960
This ringing's awful bad today.

381
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,960
I'll need to get straight down
to wee McGill on Monday

382
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:13,960
to see about it.

383
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:17,960
Here, Jaz... She was harping on
about that earlier.

384
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,160
I says to her,
gie your doctor a bell!

385
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,640
HE CHUCKLES

386
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,960
You know, a bell. Ringing.

387
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:28,960
Ah, fuck it.

388
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,160
BICKERING VOICES FROM KITCHEN

389
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,960
You all right, doll?

390
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,960
So what you been up to?
Ach, just the usual.

391
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,960
Taking my mum up to the doctor's,
then taking her to the chemist,

392
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,480
then taking her back to the doctor's

393
00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:44,960
when she doesnae like
what the chemist has gave her.

394
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,960
Sounds like you could do wi'
a bit of change of scene. Aye.

395
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:50,000
But she's got a hospital appointment
soon, so...

396
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,000
There you are. How are you?

397
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,960
Good, aye.

398
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:54,960
Hungry?

399
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:56,480
Oh, so-so.

400
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,960
God, that's a lot of food
your mum's got to cook.

401
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,960
Lucky she's got Cathy in there
helping her, eh?

402
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,960
The stuff that was in there,

403
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,480
it's no' Cathy she's needing,
it's the bloody Time Team.

404
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:09,960
And, of course, it was later on,
towards the end of 1986,

405
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,960
that was when I took the septic toe

406
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,640
when I was on holiday
in the Algarve.

407
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,800
You ever been to the Algarve, Jaz?

408
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:17,960
No.

409
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:20,960
Beautiful beaches,
but very poorly served

410
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:23,800
when it comes to
24-hour chiropodists.

411
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,960
Right, get stuck in. Oh, yes!

412
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,800
There's quiche, chicken wings,
apple pie. This looks great!

413
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:34,960
And some mixed veg, braising steak,
and a bit of Arctic roll.

414
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:40,000
Oh, here, Sophie, you get for me.
Ian, Sophie'll plate me up. Oh!

415
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,960
Col? Just a bit of everything
for me, Cathy.

416
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,960
Here, Eric, that's the beauty
of a buffet, is it no'? Aye.

417
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,960
You get a wee bit of everything.

418
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,960
He can't. No red meat for you, Eric.

419
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,960
Cath, put a few sprouts
on a napkin for him.

420
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,960
Sprouts? Ho-ho!

421
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:59,960
Oh, oor Sophie's a nightmare
with them. Savoy cabbage, as well.

422
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:03,640
Oh, I can hear her through the wall
when I'm lying in my bed at night.

423
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,160
Pff, pff, pffff.

424
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,960
It's like Transit van backfiring.

425
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,640
Are you having a good time?
All right, yeah. Good.

426
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,800
Nice chat with Christine? Yeah.

427
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,960
She was just telling me
about her septic toe.

428
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:19,960
Sausage roll?

429
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,960
No.

430
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,960
Here, Beth...

431
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,480
Beth, here.

432
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,000
You never told me that he was...

433
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:32,960
He was what?

434
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:34,960
That he was, you know...

435
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,320
..English! Oh.

436
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:45,960
Well, it's nice to get a seat.

437
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:48,960
All right
if I take two minutes, is it, Beth?

438
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:50,000
That all right, is it?

439
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,960
Honestly,
she invites you round for lunch

440
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:54,960
and no sooner
are you through the door

441
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,960
and she's shoved a tea towel
in your hand

442
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,000
and she's working you like a donkey.

443
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,640
You have done a smashing job.
This is a lovely spread.

444
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:03,960
FOOD CRUNCHES

445
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,960
Lovely crunch in this wee...

446
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,960
these wee...

447
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,960
What is this, anyway, Cath?

448
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,960
This jumper is stinking.

449
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:12,960
It's cashmere, Colin.

450
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,960
It's just grabbing every ounce
of fat there is in there.

451
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:19,960
Skiddly wee kitchen with no cooker
hood. It's like the fires of hell.

452
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,960
What's that, Mrs Baird?

453
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:26,960
It's either a pakora or a Scotch egg
that's gone for a wee walk.

454
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,960
I was saying to Eric,
if this had happened to us,

455
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:30,960
we'd have been cooking
from now till doomsday

456
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,160
with all that stuff
in our big doubler.

457
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,960
Oh, we would have. Eric, was Colin
telling you about the salmon?

458
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,000
He was, aye.
You want to see the size of it.

459
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,960
What's it like, Cathy?
It's a monster.

460
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,480
That's exactly what it is.
It's a monster.

461
00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:45,960
Col, away and get it. Eh?

462
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,960
Go and get it and bring it in
so everyone can see it.

463
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,960
Colin caught it himself, didn't you?
I did, aye. I...

464
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:52,960
Well, I bashed its brains oot

465
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,960
with this thing that the...
the gillie gave me.

466
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,960
What was it called again?

467
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:57,960
A club. It was a club, aye.

468
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,960
Go and get it.
They're dying to see it.

469
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,960
Look, it's fine, Colin.
Sit and enjoy your food.

470
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,960
Do you want a few more...
wee brown things?

471
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:07,960
Get it!

472
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,960
DOOR CLOSES

473
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,000
How are you boys doing?

474
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,960
I feel as if I've hardly seen you.

475
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,640
Probably cos I've been in that
bloody kitchen the whole time!

476
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,960
Anywa-a-a-ay, toot-toot.

477
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:29,640
So, you OK, Jaz, yeah?
Yeah, fine, not bad.

478
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,960
Beth said you'd been off work
with the stress.

479
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:33,960
He's going back in a couple
of weeks, though, aren't you?

480
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,960
Yeah. Maybe. Hopefully.

481
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,960
Aw, good.
So what was it caused it, then?

482
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,960
Was it just a build-up of stuff,
or did you have a full breakdown?

483
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,960
Oh, just various things.
But I'm feeling a bit better now.

484
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:45,960
Oh, that's good.

485
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,480
Mind you, must be tough being off,

486
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,800
sitting in the house on your own
all day, staring at the walls.

487
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,960
That'll get you down, as well.

488
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:55,320
I'm not on my own all the time.

489
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:56,960
Are you no'?

490
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:57,960
No, Ian's round quite a bit.

491
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,960
Not every day, though?
No, not every day.

492
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,000
Well, it will be every day,
won't it?

493
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,960
Will it, Ian?

494
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,960
Eric, out the way, this is hot!
Right.

495
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,960
Where's Cathy?
Er, talking to Ian and Jaz.

496
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,960
This bloody salmon. Who brings
a fish to someone's house?

497
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,000
Oh, hi, Cathy. Huh!

498
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,960
Beth, you're not going
to believe it.

499
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,960
What?

500
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,960
Ian's moving in with Jaz.
Isn't it exciting?

501
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:26,960
Is that champagne?

502
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:27,960
Er...

503
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,480
I didn't know what to say.
I just panicked.

504
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:33,960
It's fine. Don't worry about it.

505
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:35,640
She was talking and staring at me.

506
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,800
Then I started looking
at her facial hair

507
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:39,960
with the bits of make-up in it,
and I lost my concentration.

508
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,800
Look, it's OK.
Maybe she won't say anything.

509
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,960
Ooooh!

510
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:50,320
Right, here's to the big move.
Here you go, you two.

511
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,960
Oh, whoopsie. Er, what's going on?

512
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,960
They're moving in together.

513
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:59,800
Here, Beth, get a couple of mugs for
you and Eric, get a drink of this.

514
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,160
Here she is!

515
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:03,960
Oh-ho!

516
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:07,960
Wait till I get a look at this.
There we go.

517
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:12,960
Oh, Christ! look at the size
of that. It's like fucking Jaws.

518
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,000
HE SINGS JAWS THEME TUNES

519
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,960
It was my fault.
I wasn't meant to say.

520
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:17,960
SHE SIGHS

521
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:19,960
You could have told me
you were thinking about it.

522
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,960
I hadn't really thought about it,
though.

523
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:23,960
I asked him to,
last night, after dinner.

524
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,800
We had corn on the cobs.

525
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,960
Do you not think
you're rushing into it a bit?

526
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:31,960
Mum, I can't stay here
for ever, can I?

527
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:33,960
I wish I could Sellotape my mouth
shut sometimes.

528
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,480
Here, Col, take that.
I'm bored of it now.

529
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:39,960
Col, get a glass.
Ian and Jaz are moving in together.

530
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:44,160
Oh, are you? That's nice.
Well, good on you, boys.

531
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:47,960
S'cuse my fish fingers.
A wee flat-share, eh?

532
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,960
No fighting over
the biggest bedroom, eh?

533
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:52,960
Here, Eric, we know where to go

534
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,960
if we fancy a few cans in front
of the football, eh? Oh, aye.

535
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,960
Poor Beth. She'll be heartbroken.

536
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:01,960
I'll need to make an effort

537
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,960
to come over and see her
more often, cheer her up.

538
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:07,960
Are you eyeing up that fish, Sophie?
She is, isn't she?

539
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,960
Does she like salmon, Christine?

540
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:12,960
Cathy... Sophie, look into its eyes.

541
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,960
Cathy! What?

542
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:18,960
Here, Cath, what say we give Beth
and Eric this as a present, eh?

543
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:20,960
Something to start them off again.

544
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,960
That is a brilliant idea.
Well, I'll...

545
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:27,000
Beth, take it. I hate salmon.
Honestly...

546
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,800
It's cos your freezer's
no' big enough.

547
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,960
Cath, she's worried it'll no' fit.

548
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,480
See, just take the head off
and bend its tail back,

549
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:35,960
it'll fit in no bother.

550
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:39,960
Eric, you got a wee hacksaw? We'll
just whip its head off the noo.

551
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,320
What's he saying? They're going to
decapitate the fish.

552
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:43,960
Oh, for fuck's sake.

553
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,960
We'll sort it later, Colin.
But, cheers, thanks for the thought.

554
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:48,000
Not at all, squire.

555
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:51,960
Give it a good rinse under the tap.

556
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,960
That river I dragged it out of
is no' the freshest.

557
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:58,960
It was quite near the caravan site,
if you know what I'm saying.

558
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,640
Oh, that's just great(!)

559
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:03,960
Sophie, look, just stamp that in
with your Pumas. Leave it!

560
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:07,960
Just leave it!

561
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:09,960
All right, Beth.

562
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,800
It's only a cheap glass.
No need to get all Mrs Nippy.

563
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:16,960
Now, Cathy,
I've just about had enough.

564
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,960
Oh, come on, now, Beth.
Here, Eric, get her a glass of wine.

565
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,960
She's been up to her eyes
in breadcrumbs all day.

566
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:27,000
Beth... Cathy, thanks for coming
over, and thanks for all your help,

567
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:32,960
and thanks for the offer of the
salmon, but we just don't want it.

568
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:33,960
Excuse me?

569
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:38,960
As I say, thanks for the thought,
but we'll pass on it, thank you.

570
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,960
Eric, what's the problem?

571
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:41,960
Beth... Shut up, Eric.

572
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:42,960
CATHY GASPS

573
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:46,960
I came in here today, Beth,
to help you out, as your friend,

574
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,960
as your neighbour,

575
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,640
but most importantly, as your...

576
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:54,480
..friend.

577
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:59,960
And you have had me in that kitchen,
working me like a bastard, Beth,

578
00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:03,960
with scampi you could
beat someone to death with

579
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:07,960
and tinfoil and sinks
and the heat and noises...

580
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,960
Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep,
beep-beep-beep!

581
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,960
And then Colin,
out of the goodness of his heart,

582
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,960
offers you a beautiful gift
of a fish,

583
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,640
and you throw it back in our face.

584
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:24,320
Is that what you're doing, Beth?
Are you throwing fish in my face?

585
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,960
Now, you listen to me, Cathy...

586
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,960
It's no wonder
Ian's decided he's moving out.

587
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:30,960
SHARP INTAKE OF BREATH

588
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,320
Out you go. Go on. Oh!

589
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:38,960
Fine. Take it.

590
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:39,960
Mum!

591
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,960
No, no, no, no, no.
That is your present, Beth.

592
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:44,480
Take the salmon, Cathy.

593
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:47,480
Colin, tell her. It's her fish.
It's your fish, Beth.

594
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:50,960
I don't want it.
Take the salmon away.

595
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:52,000
All right, give it to me!

596
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,960
It never would have fitted
in your silly little freezer anyway.

597
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:56,800
Ha! Right, would it not?

598
00:26:58,960 --> 00:26:59,960
Give it!

599
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:02,960
Ah!

600
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,000
Ooh! Mum!

601
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:11,960
INDISTINCT VOICES IN OTHER ROOM

602
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,480
BETH GRUNTS

603
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:20,960
Eric, could you move...?
Just move oot the way. Mum...

604
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:22,800
What's she playing at?

605
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:24,960
Where's my big knife? Beth... Beth!

606
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:27,960
Hold that.

607
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,960
CRACKING

608
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,480
Right!

609
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:39,960
Everyone happy now?

610
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,000
Mrs Baird. What?

611
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,960
That door's not shut properly.

612
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,800

my bonnie laddie

613
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,960

my bonnie lamb

614
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,960

my bonnie laddie

615
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:58,960

my bonnie lamb

616
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:01,160

in a little dishy

617
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,800

and a bit of ham

618
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,960

in a little dishy

619
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:07,960

and a bit of ham

620
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:09,960

my bonnie laddie

621
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,480

my bonnie lamb

622
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,960

my bonnie laddie

623
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,960

my bonnie lamb.

624
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:18,960
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